The Journey of ‘I’

I look down and realize there’s a pair of feet
I wiggle my toes then giggle to myself
I admire the sparkly sandals, it’s so cute
I took one step forward and then another
I found it fun but knew it could be better
I start to quicken my pace
I wore sneakers for maximum comfort
I was running and running and running
I came to a halt, it was fine
I walked carefully and then aimlessly
I was dragging my feet for a while; not until
I discovered the stairs I’m meant to climb
I set my eyes on it, I’m getting there
I felt coldness, first on my soles then all over
I soaked them in a deep puddle
I stepped away as quickly as I can
I did not want to stop
I continued, not marching but stomping
I hated how wet my socks are
I persisted and then sprained my ankle
I stopped, sad — sat and stayed.

I Deleted a Song

I can no longer dance to that song
As my body is no longer capable
Of making those silly moves
We hilariously yet confidently executed
Oh, it belonged to us
It was to be forever ours
But ahead of you
Is a broad array of songs
Waiting to be loved that way
And you felt responsible for them
So I waited as you move around
Cherishing them one by one
Because I only had that one song

I remained patient
Watching from the side
Wishing that you will play it again
And thankfully you did
Yet only to be skipped
Repeatedly, deliberately
That even I
Have forgotten the moves
I cried then tried to remember
And cried again
For my effort was in vain
Why couldn’t I?
Then I looked at you

I laughed at what was in front of me
Seeing you reminded me
Of my long-standing foolishness
You never let our song reach its end
For you’ve grown accustomed to loud songs
That you can no longer hear
The low volume of ours
Then what was the purpose of a song
Making feel frustrated when I hear it
And as for you, inaudible
I’ve been hurt and tired
And you, only bothered
I deleted that song, solely for me

Some may say it’s pathetic, stupid, and immature
But I refuse to someday be lost in the sea
You call playlist.

---

Let go when needed, don’t make happiness wait for you.

I Shouldn’t, Right?

all the questions I never asked
they still reside in my mind
often silently
but when the dark arrives
I grapple against them
they overpower
even the music that
walked me to myself

no, it’s not because I’m not okay
the truth is
I finally feel like a bird
which was once just a dream

I’m not sure if it’s universal
but when the comfort I hoped for
embraced me with its warmth
it felt uncomfortable
the silence felt less loud
and I was shocked,
I tried to be calm
then, it was raining for weeks

being at the edge
have I grown used to it?
I shouldn’t think
‘send me back’

I shouldn’t right?
yet it sometimes seems alright.

---

I posted after a long time, I guess I remembered that I shouldn’t let my wits wilt. To the person reading this, live fully and be happy. Below is a wonderful song you can listen to.

Sober Madness

She is that proper, hardworking student
Who feels like she’ll die if she doesn’t pass an assignment
She values education after her family
Absence not in her vocabulary

She has a definite plan set her in mind
A boy cannot fit in her timeline
She knows what she wants
No one is to stop her

But she’s been around
In this guy’s mind for a long time
Her simplicity’s a sanctity for him
In shameless audacity, he soon destroys her

It is out of sober madness
When she saw a white bead in the darkness
She held onto it
And climbed the stairs blindfolded

Befuddled she was when she loved him
Never questioned the veracities of his lies
She gave him a precious flower
While he didn’t have the same power

One day, a seed presented itself
As she was hoping it wouldn’t
And when she told him,
Ridding of it was his immediate suggestion

Her conscience couldn’t allow that
Yet her pleadings were futile
For he didn’t disguise his apathy
And disappeared immediately

He was a hawthorn and pricked her
She both bled and cried thereafter
Now alone in the labyrinth garden
She found that the ground was sodden

With no idea on how to start her escape
The weight of the seed increases
She must defeat the somber desertion
In this sober madness, she cannot be drunk dazed.

A Sign Meant For You

there is bliss to seize.

Sometimes you find yourself drowning deep into the ocean
But then you don’t try to survive, you don’t swim for your life
You just let yourself sink into an endless darkness
Because it’s easier that way, to accept that you belong there

But the light will always find you
Something inside you will push you to save your life
And so you swim to save your life
And a sight of the shore will delight you

But it isn’t easy because you’ve been deprived of gravity for a while
You might collapse, it will be hard to find your balance
Yet there are people around you, they will help you
And your feet will find gravity again

You’ll realize that it is meant for you to survive,
To live your life again,
Because the world is a masterpiece,
And you are a part of it

And then after some time,
You’ll find the happiness you’ve been looking for
Through words and actions,
You are uplifted.